No Answer Andy’s Circus of Vanishing Billions, Revolving Doors and Very Expensive Balloon Animals.
Welcome back, dear readers, to another riotous week beneath Westminster’s Big Top of Blunders, where No Answer Andy is now blaming the Russians for Brexit interference, the Treasury jugglers are staring at a potential £35 billion spending problem, the prison doors are spinning like a fairground carousel, and the Cabinet contortionists are performing increasingly desperate manoeuvres to avoid admitting that somebody, somewhere, will have to pay for all this.
Thirteen weeks into the Labour circus, the tent is bulging, the clowns are multiplying, and the ringmaster is still promising that the really impressive act is just around the corner.
Unfortunately, the audience has seen enough disappearing tricks to be suspicious.
This week, Burnham revived claims about Russian interference in the Brexit referendum. Foreign attempts to influence democratic processes are serious and deserve investigation, but evidence of interference is not proof that the referendum result was changed.
Nevertheless, Brexit is once again being dragged into the spotlight. The Labour contortionists are bending themselves into increasingly extraordinary positions over Britain’s relationship with Brussels, while No Answer Andy appears determined to keep the argument alive.
Roll up, roll up, for the amazing referendum that never ends!
Meanwhile, the Treasury has produced a rather less entertaining spectacle.
The Institute for Fiscal Studies has warned that meeting existing spending ambitions, maintaining public services and increasing defence expenditure could require approximately £35 billion in additional annual funding by 2030/31.
That is not a confirmed £35 billion deficit, nor an inevitable tax rise. It is a warning about the scale of the choices ahead.
But what a warning.
The Treasury jugglers are already balancing welfare expenditure, defence commitments, NHS demands and borrowing costs. Now somebody has thrown another £35 billion into the air and told them to keep smiling.
And who is standing beneath this financial high-wire act with an increasingly empty wallet?
The British taxpayer, naturally.
Chancellor John Healey has also faced reports that he is considering raising around £2 billion through additional taxes on banks, shortly after praising the sector as one of Britain’s economic strengths.
One moment the banks are the jewels in Britain’s crown. The next, the Chancellor appears to be measuring them for the Treasury’s jewellery box.
It is a magnificent disappearing act, although the only thing likely to vanish is another chunk of somebody else’s money.
The wider tax outlook is equally uncomfortable. Forecasts suggesting Britain’s tax burden could approach 41.9 per cent of GDP have reignited the argument about how much more the Government can raise without discouraging investment, enterprise and growth.
The public finances require difficult decisions. Unfortunately, the political circus has a longstanding habit of treating difficult decisions like unwanted circus animals, keeping them hidden behind the tent until they become too enormous to ignore.
Which brings us neatly to the welfare elephant.
New analysis has raised questions about the relationship between immigration, employment and Britain’s growing benefits bill. A Centre for Social Justice report found that around four in five net additional payroll employments recorded between 2014 and the end of 2025 were held by non-UK nationals.
The figures span successive governments, including Conservative administrations, and do not establish that overseas workers displaced British employees. Many filled genuine vacancies.
But they do raise important questions about skills, economic inactivity and why Britain continues to face substantial welfare pressures while employers recruit internationally.
The elephant is growing, the ringmaster is promising reform, and the Treasury is wondering whether it can afford the next bag of peanuts.
Then came the extraordinary comparison involving disability benefits, with reports that more seven-year-olds receive children’s disability support than 50-year-olds receive certain adult benefits.
These are different benefit systems with different eligibility rules, so the figures cannot simply be treated as like-for-like evidence of abuse.
Nevertheless, rising expenditure and the challenge of supporting people with genuine needs while maintaining a sustainable system remain serious issues.
It is rather more complicated than the political balloon modeller would have us believe.
Speaking of balloon animals, the Ministry of Justice appears to have commissioned an enormous inflatable revolving door.
Reports suggest that around 650 additional offenders are due for early release under measures intended to ease prison overcrowding, while some previously released prisoners have subsequently been arrested again.
An arrest does not establish guilt, and overcrowding is a problem that predates this Government. But the public is entitled to ask whether the system is protecting victims, managing risk and delivering meaningful sentences.
Prisons are not supposed to operate like a circus turnstile.
The most troubling justice story, however, concerns delays in implementing tougher child sexual offence provisions carrying potential life sentences.
The legislation has been passed, but the relevant offences have not yet been brought into force.
Ministers say operational preparation is necessary. That may be so, but families deserve a clear timetable.
This is not a subject for political clowning. Protecting children must be a priority, and the public should not have to keep asking when promised protections will become operational.
Over in the defence ring, former senior military figures have warned that Labour’s proposed legislation concerning the legacy of the Troubles could expose British veterans to renewed investigations.
The rights of victims, the need for justice and the fair treatment of former service personnel all matter. The legal issues are complex, but the Government must explain clearly how it intends to reconcile them.
Veterans deserve certainty, not another endless performance in which the rules keep changing while the people affected are left waiting in the wings.
Then we reach the Chagos Islands, where Labour’s controversial sovereignty agreement with Mauritius has come under renewed scrutiny amid violent protests and a police shooting.
The unrest has raised questions about political stability and the protection of residents, including Chagossian families. There is no established evidence that Chagossians were specifically targeted in the disturbances, but the situation adds to concerns about their rights and representation.
The Government argues that the agreement is designed to secure the long-term future of the strategically important Diego Garcia military base. Are they kidding? Do they think Mauritius will all the Brits and Americans to use the base if China says so? Critics question whether transferring sovereignty is necessary or wise.
Either way, the interests and wishes of Chagossians deserve more than a supporting role in a diplomatic production staged by London and Port Louis.
And the controversy surrounding National Security Adviser Jonathan Powell has brought another uncomfortable spotlight to the Government.
Police have reportedly been examining comments attributed to Powell’s wife concerning a proscribed organisation. An assessment does not establish criminal wrongdoing, and Powell himself is not accused of an offence in those reports.
Nevertheless, the episode has generated questions because of Powell’s involvement in sensitive national security and diplomatic matters, including the Chagos negotiations.
One might reasonably expect the Government to address those questions with clarity rather than allowing speculation to fill the silence.
Meanwhile, Labour’s promise to back British defence industry has encountered another difficulty.
Questions have been raised about whether foreign-owned companies operating in Britain could qualify under procurement arrangements intended to support domestic industry.
There is an important distinction between British ownership and British employment. Overseas-owned companies can support thousands of British jobs, apprenticeships and supply chains.
But if ministers promise to back British industry, they should explain precisely what that means and how success will be measured.
A slogan painted on a circus banner is not a procurement strategy.
And finally, the local government contortionists have been performing their own spectacular balancing act.
Changes to council funding have prompted accusations that some Conservative and Liberal Democrat controlled areas could lose out while Labour heartlands benefit.
The Government argues that funding should reflect local needs and deprivation, and the political control of a council does not itself prove that allocations are partisan.
But when communities face pressure on services and council tax bills, transparency over the funding formula is essential.
Residents should be able to understand why their area receives what it does, without needing a circus programme and a magnifying glass.
And so ends Week Thirteen beneath Westminster’s Big Top of Blunders.
A potential £35 billion spending challenge hangs over the public finances. Banks face the prospect of further taxation. Welfare pressures continue. The prison system remains overcrowded. Tougher child protection provisions await implementation. Veterans face legal uncertainty. The Chagos agreement remains contested, and local councils are arguing over the distribution of public money.
No Answer Andy remains in the centre ring, naturally, wearing his enormous red nose and assuring everybody that the performance is going splendidly.
Behind him, the Treasury jugglers are dropping their financial forecasts, the welfare elephant is trampling the scenery, the justice clown is chasing prisoners through a revolving door, and the defence contortionists are attempting to squeeze Britain’s security commitments into an increasingly small budget.
Above it all floats the Government’s latest magnificent balloon animal.
It is enormous, brightly coloured and proudly labelled EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.
Unfortunately, it appears to be losing air.
The ringmaster promises another exciting act next week.
The audience looks at its empty pockets, the mounting bills and the increasingly battered circus tent.
Same circus. Same promises.
And once again, the audience is left holding the bill.
READ ALL ABOUT IT: Links to this week’s top Labour circus acts below:
READ ALL ABOUT IT: Links to this week’s top Labour circus acts below:
