EDITOR’S NOTE (3rd January 2025): We have been informed the letter in the article below may have been fabricated. For transparency please see this link: https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-817067
In a devastating turn of events, the family of a young Israeli man who miraculously survived the horrific Nova massacre on October 7 has made his suicide letter public.
After enduring unspeakable horrors, including the harrowing sight of a girl being brutally assaulted, the weight of it all became too much for him to bear.
This young man, who lived through a nightmare, ultimately decided that he could no longer continue his life. The trauma of what he witnessed, combined with his helplessness in saving the girl, drove him to this heartbreaking decision.
His family, now mourning an unimaginable loss, has translated his final letter from Hebrew. In sharing his last words, they hope to bring awareness to the deep scars left by such atrocities. May he rest in peace.
“Hey you, please forgive me! It all started on Thursday, we were dancing and having fun, and come Friday – so much fun all around, seeing friends we haven’t seen in years – we all met to dance and celebrate life. Come Saturday morning, the sun begins to rise, it’s so beautiful as it starts to shine all over everyone.
“We’re dancing and happy, hugging, and some of my friends start to leave. Suddenly, rockets start flying over us, I know this, this is my life -I’m from the South. But then there are paragliders- I hope nothing happens to them… Then starts the gunfire – what is going on? We see the truck coming, paratroopers dressed in foreign uniforms – they are killing everyone. They just killed Shay, they killed Adi. They’re kidnapping that girl, who is sitting there hugging her murdered boyfriend.
“Suddenly you run to the bushes where I sit and hide, not uttering a sound from my lips. You’re in the bush next to me, so close, the cries gush out from within you. A terrorist is right above the bush I’m hiding in and I pray he won’t see me, I pray so hard, something I haven’t done my entire life… God can hear my prayer. But you won’t stop crying out loud because with every second, someone gets shot and murdered.
“They saw you, they’re dragging you out of the bushes. They’re four and you’re one. You scream for help. One of them punches you to silence you, and you try to fight them while looking towards my direction, for me to save you. But if I step out, we will both get murdered. I want to live! I sit there silently, they start undressing you! I’m crying, I feel like I need to scream but a hand silences me! Maybe it’s the hand of God, or I don’t know who…
“They turn you on your stomach and they start raping you, one by one. They turn you around again and they yell at you in English, they want you to see for yourself how they have defeated you. You try to crawl in my direction and I pray for something to happen, for someone to kill them so you can get out alive, but as you crawl towards me and they’re on top of you – the shot comes. They murdered you, but before they murdered your body they murdered your soul.
“I sat there, in the bushes, for hours, I did not come out. I saw a bottle of water next to you and I was so incredibly thirsty, but I couldn’t bear the thought that I should have saved you, so how can I be so disrespectful and drink your water?
“I have reached rock bottom, I can’t live anymore. Your look follows me every single day – in the shower, in my sleep, in my room. I couldn’t go back to work, I wasn’t able to. I’ve been to your house. I didn’t tell your parents what you’ve been through, but they’ve been told that your body was abused, I was a witness. I ask for your forgiveness. I am coming to you, to the next great world, I promise to save you there and protect you. Please forgive me!
“And don’t worry, I left a note for my family telling them how much I love them, and thanking them for the life they gave me. My sister is having a baby, I thought about sticking around to get to know my nephew, but I don’t think he should know the uncle that couldn’t save you. It’s okay, I’ll watch him from above.”
The original letter was shared anonymously by the young man’s sister in an Israeli social media group, written in Hebrew. She explained that the family wishes to maintain their privacy, which is why they have chosen not to reveal their identity. May his memory be a blessing.
The original letter in Hebrew:
I can’t stop crying
I also saw those things
Those animals
Not animals. It’s a disgrace to the animal kingdom to say that
Spawns of Satan
Eternal burning in hell is not enough of a punishment
I can’t stop crying
I’m sorry you had to experience this. Please consider getting psychological/peychiatric help. All the best.
Jonathan, I sit here trying to find the words to describe how much I want to tell you that I’m worried about you. I don’t know you, but I desperately want you to be okay. There are people who can help you if you need it. I have thought about erasing this message in fear of sounding stupid but I sounding stupid is something I’ll deal with. I hope you will get help you most certainly deserve. You don’t have to sit with any of this alone.
This suicide letter was proven to be fabricated. See https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-817067 for details.
Please update or retract this post if possible. Thank you!
Thank you for letting us know Pierre. I have put an Editorial Note on the article we published and also included a link to the Jerusalem Post article you sent. Many thanks for raising this. Claire